Fight the Flakes!


This distressing scalp desquamation strikes indiscriminately dinosaurs and Presidents, leaving the poor victim embarrassed – as far as Emmanuel Macron was concerned, after Donald Trump decided to brush “that little piece of dandruff” off the French leader’s jacket. Regarding the microraptors, beipiaosaurus and sinornithosaurus’ morale, we have no information.

To knock off these mortifying squatters and stop them ruining your life and your little black dress, you’d better strike ruthlessly.

As an emergency remedy, add 1 teaspoon of soda bicarb to your shampoo. Mix well, wash your mane and admire the result. When you have more time, soothe your poor, itchy, devastated scalp and control your dandruff with a plain organic yogurt hair pack. This recipe is recommended by Chinese scientists who discovered that this capillary tragedy is due to a bacterial imbalance. On a healthy head, among the bugs colonizing it, Propionibacterium make up 71% of the scalp bacteria and Staphylococcus, 26%. But if the Propionibacterium population falls to 50% and the Staphylococcus rises to 44%, it’s a mess. That’s when the yogurt comes in to adjust the  bacterial balance and benefit Propionibacterium. Put it on dry hair, gently rub it in, hide the lot under a sublime shower cap and lock yourself in. An hour later, wash it off and shampoo. To reinforce its action, mix 1 teaspoon of soda bicarb in your yogurt before slathering your head with it. As a final touch, after shampooing, rinse your hair with 2 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar diluted in half a litre of water.

A couple of drops of antifungal essential oils – Palmarosa, Tea tree, Lemon, Rosemary, Thyme, English Lavender (Lavandula latifolia), etc. – can be added to your yogurt for extra boost.

A word of caution: Never use these oils if you are pregnant or breast feeding. Never give to children under 10.

Homeopathy can also help stop this unseasonal snow fall. In case of creamy yellow scaly dandruff with greasy hair, take Sulphur 15 CH, 10 granules on an empty stomach morning or nigh. For big scaly greasy dandruff, take Thuya 7CH, 3 granules 3 times a day. If the flakes are white and profuse, Natrum Muriaticum 5CH, 3 granules 3 times a day is your remedy. If the flakes are tiny and white, like flour, Arsenicum Album 5 CH, 3 granules 3 times a day is effective. Take all remedies for a month or more, if needed.

Other smashing recipes to fight aesthetic disagreements in:

Le Dictionnaire à tout faire du bicarbonate'